"Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant!"

In church on Sunday, we sang a song that talked about at the end of life, what we want to hear is, "Well done, good and faithful servant." As we sang, I thought about it and realized that I really want to hear that at the end of my life when I stand before God. And while I don't believe good works are what gets us into Heaven, I do believe that when we know Jesus as Savior and recognize all He has done for us, out of gratitude, we will do good works. Our life should reflect who we are in Christ and we should be His hands and feet here on earth. People should see a difference in me because I am a Christ-follower.

I have been trying to think how that would play out in my everyday life. How do I need to act and live so I will have lived faithfully and well? We all like to hear that we have done a good job. Our kids love to hear it and our husbands do, too. It's not that we need praise to keep on doing what is right. It just is nice when others recognize it and affirm us in doing the right thing. Just think what it will be like when God says it to us!

But how do I/we get to that point? How do we intentionally live that way? One of the ways is in our devotion to the Lord. Do we seek Him out in prayer and His Word? I keep asking God to make me hungry for His Word, so much so that if I miss a day, I will feel like I have really missed out on something. He has really been speaking to my heart as I have prayed that. Second, I need to be intentional in my relationships to others. Sometimes it is so easy, and sometimes it is not! I want to reach out to more people more readily. I need to just do it, even if it is uncomfortable. The other thing I have thought about is that I need to use my gifts and talents. I need to be who He has created me to be.I can get so caught up in just doing what is before me that I don't make time to stretch myself in new ways. God wants us to step out of our comfort zone so we have to rely on Him. That's when faith grows!

So, for now, that's how I will live more intentionally so I can be faithful and know that I have done a good job. I will probably have to have some accountability partners to keep me going in the right direction, too. I really want God to someday say to me, "Well done!"

Counting my Blessings

My mind is blank, but I am writing anyway. My heart is consumed by a family problem and it's hard to be light hearted or fun. But my soul yearns for joy... so I will count my blessings. Here goes:

1. Friends- a connection with an old friend was renewed and another friend and I solved a misunderstanding.
2. My 20-year-old daughter got a job and is excited to start work tomorrow.
3. My house is warm despite below 0 temps for several days.
4. My chipped front tooth is fixed without a crown.
5. My 11-year-old made S'more Clusters for her AWANA group and shared with us!
6. I got more free books on my Kindle.
7. My husband bought me a new battery for my laptop computer for Christmas.
8. I got a new red blazer yesterday.
9. Grandchildren- I have 12 and #13 is on the way!
10. I love homeschooling my youngest daughter. She is the last and #6. All the rest have graduated!
11. Tomorrow I will have over 500 hits on my blog!
12. I love Christian radio.
13. Most of the time, I have good internet connections.
14. My sons are incredible young men-excellent public servants, good dads, and fun to be with, too.
15. My husband is my best friend.
16. I have new cookbooks so I don't get bored cooking the same old, same old!
17. I love my Kitchenaid mixer.especially the dough hook to make bread dough.
18. I have opportunities and choices most of the world doesn't have.
19. God's word is relevant to me and true.
20. God loves me.
21. I know God is there for me always. I am never alone.
22. I have reliable transportation and can go pretty much where I want to.
23. Winter doesn't last forever. Spring will come.
24. My husband has a job and I can be a stay-at-home mom.
25.My vacuum cleaner is fixed!

Wow! I didn't realize how much you would know about me by my revealing my blessings. You could figure out a lot about me from that. They are not in order, not even in the order of how I thought of them. It was a totally random list and on another day, the list could contain other things. I only allowed myself 25 today, but counting my blessings always lifts my spirit. Gratitude changes my attitude! I can't feel sorry for myself while listing my blessings.Even though there are some hard things in my life right now, God is good. He is with me. And remembering and counting my blessings renews the joy in my heart!

The Goal I Can't Do

I set a goal for myself to go to bed by 10:30pm. That way I could get up earlier. This is hard for me as I am a night person and definitely don't like morning! If morning came later in the day, it would be fine! I would like it better. I love sunsets, not really sunrises...

My body apparently thinks it needs 9 hours of sleep to be happy. If I turn my alarm off, I will sleep 9 hours. If I go to bed too late, I will get up later unless I force myself to listen to the alarm. I am trying to get up early enough to exercise 30 minutes and to read my Bible before I start with Janaya's school. Of course, I also have to eat breakfast and shower before that. Sometimes I tell her to go ahead and start Math and I will be there soon! Her Math is on the computer, so not specifically taught by me. She can do it without much input fom me.

I really do try to meet this goal. I try to go to bed earlier. I pack my husband's lunch right after supper. I get Janaya to bed, but then I need to feed the dog, let the dog out, start the dishwasher(after loading the final dishes), shut the lights out, turn off the computer and whatever else is on, brush my teeth, and get ready for bed. It's finally quiet in the house. So I might sit down for a few minutes and sometimes I get distracted by a book or magazine or my Kindle. I'll just read a little bit... Just a little bit more...One more page or one more chapter...And next thing I know, it's later than I planned. I missed my goal again.

I will keep working on it, but this one is tough for me. What do you think? How do I fix this one? Or do I give up and just let it be the way it is? I am not sure if meeting this goal will give me more joy for the heart or if missing it will!? :-)

A Resolution to Keep- Date Your Spouse

My husband was pleased to hear he made my resolution list! We were joking about resolutions and how hard so many of them are hard to keep- like diets, exercise, etc... I told him I made one that I was looking forward to keeping and that was to make dates with him a priority. He didn't say a lot, but I know he liked it because they have become a priority for him, too.

We enjoy each other's company and have always looked for ways to spend time together. After the kids were old enough to be left alone, we went out for Saturday breakfast because they didn't want to get up anyway. They rarely knew we were gone! I often will just ride along when he has to go somewhere for his job or to pick something up. We like to be together.

We did brainstorm a bit about things we would like to do and he even made a list in his smart phone! I wrote down my ideas and then I went online and found even more. I looked for fun ideas and for ideas that were not too expensive so they could just happen if we had the time.  Some ideas cost and have to be budgeted for though.

We like to get away a couple of times a year to a hotel and we have found it pays to join the hotels' "club" of ones we like. You get emails, notices of special deals and events, and sometimes rewards. Most give you points and even though it takes time to get enough points, they keep them until you use them. We have had a few free or reduced nights that way and sometimes they upgrade your room  when you check in. We also get free water or snacks at some!

We like to go out to eat, but it doesn't always have to be expensive. We like to try smaller off the beaten path restaurants, too. We like to pack a picnic with a few special things and go to a park or to a lake, too. We love motorcycle rides to anywhere and camping and canoeing! Outdoor activities  are great together.  We will do what each other enjoys to just spend time together. Loren will go with me to antique stores and flea markets, and I will go with him to motorcycle events and things like that.  Be creative and share your spouse's interests. You just might find you like it, too.

Try something new together, too. We are excited that a shooting and archery range is opening near us. We have gone horseback riding, to amusement parks, water parks, zoos, fairs, and festivals. Our state has a great tourism newspaper that lists events and we go to local events we find there. Many are free and a chance to explore your home area. We get a historical membership or state park sticker occasionally and use them to go to events. Even my membership to the historical society was at a reduced rate because I bought it on the internet through Groupon. If you are creative, you can get some good deals.

I don't like winter very much and since I live in Minnesota, that is tough sometimes. This is when we will go to a movie or a play or some kind of expo. We have gone to a camping show, a home show, and a motorcycle show. Check what your local civic centers offer. I also check local radio stations' community calendars for events. We may go to a local charity's fundraiser or dinner.We have found concerts and seminars that way. You would be surprised at what activities are out there.

Dating my spouse is definitely one resolution we both are enjoying, and it is good for our marriage. It gives us something to look forward to and to anticipate. It is part of my bigger goal to celebrate! We are celebrating our relationship and life! It is good to just have fun and to make memories! It will put a smile on your face and joy in your heart!

2013- The New Year-Celebrate!

I wrote on resolutions last year and woefully broke even the easiest ones. I had hoped others would challenge me to do what I said I would. It didn't work that way. Life got busy and I did whatever was most urgent, whatever was before me. I did meet some goals and had some successes. It wasn't that life was stagnant. It was so busy with everyone's demands. 2012 wasn't what I had hoped it to be. I didn't enjoy it like I should have. Even though I did what I felt I was called to do and did have some success, I lost some of the joy. I let my activities consume me.

This year in 2013 as I was reflecting and thinking about the new year ahead, I decided to think on a few words and to let them guide my year. My first word was Challenge. I don't know what that means. As I figure that out, I will write about it. I am not sure if I will be challenged or I will challenge myself or if life will be a challenge in general. Whatever, whichever it will be will be interesting. I anticipate it.

The second word that came to me was Celebrate! That sounds more fun! It came to me that so much of life is going from crisis to crisis surviving whatever loss, hurt, or sadness comes our way. And they will come our way. But rather than wallow in despair when faced with those things, I want to find the other good things in life and celebrate! There is so much in life worth celebrating. God continually told people in the Bible to celebrate, to have feasts, to comemorate things. God delights in us finding joy. When we celebrate, we remember things that are important to us. We celebrate with family, friends, and others. We share our joy. I look forward to finding ways to celebrate.

Celebrating, finding joy can be so simple. We have played games in the evening. We have challenged each other with WII. We have enjoyed sharing our days at a good sit-down meal. We lit candles at the dinner table. We sipped sparkling apple cider in the evening. We listened to old tapes by Ronald Reagan. We made plans to remodel, rebuild. We prayed together. Some celebrating will be more elaborate. We will have a party. We will cook special foods and have guests over. We will travel somewhere. However it happens, we will celebrate life, love, relationships. Crisises will come, but they will not overshadow the celebrating. We will find the joys of our hearts no matter what the new year brings.

Getting Past Failing

Have you ever failed someone? I don't mean once or twice, but consistently, in that you are not the person they want or need in their lives. No matter what you do or how much you love them, it is never enough. They rarely see what you have done for them or what you are willing to do for them. They are stuck in a world of their own choosing, expecting only bad and not seeing what is right before them.

Their perception of you can begin to affect your own. It is so easy to start to see yourself as inadequate or lacking, when that is not the reality. You start to see what is projected on you from the other person. You believe you are what they say you are or are not- even though no one else sees you that way.

You begin to live in their pain instead of living in the place God has called you to. He wants us to live in His light and not in someone else's darkness. When you love somone who is living in darkness, it is hard not to get pulled in to it, too. It's not because you want to join them in it, but because you know no other way to pull them out. But many times we want to pull them out before they are ready or want to be rescued. This only causes more conflict.

The conflicts take on a life of their own and you can lose sight of the good things in life. When this happens, evil has taken root in both lives. It is often a whole family affected by all of it. Everyone reacts differently, but the effects are not good.

So what do you do?  I have had to to realize that I am not the person some people see me as. I am a child of God who is loved and who has done all I can to love and care for them. I had to stop believing others' negative perceptions of me so that it didn't cripple me to do and be who I am. I had to let go of the hurts they intentionally and unintentionally inflict.These hurts come from the core of who they are and from the wounds they have in their souls and hearts and lives. I have to choose to forgive. I will choose to ask forgiveness if that will help whether I belive it is warranted or not. I will work at loving unconditionally.

None of my responses come easily. With hurt comes hopelessness and apathy. Only through Christ's work in me and His love in me can I ever respond correctly. I will fail again. But I will try again and again to hope, to love, because He does, and the joys of my heart remain when I remain in Him and walk in obedience.

Christmas

Christmas Day is almost here! As I write late on Christmas Eve, I am contemplating Christmas Past and Christmas Present with an eye on Christmas Future. I have some great memories of Christmases from the past. I think about all those that were part of them that are no longer with us or are no longer part of our lives for one reason or another. I miss many of them. They remain in my heart even if they are no longer here physically.

This year was different, too. It had some wonderful moments when the grandchildren squealed excitedly over something or quietly commented at church when the pastor asked,"What child is this?"
"Jesus...", she whispered. Some parts were disappointments because I always want peace and joy for all my family and it doesn't happen. I give those disappointments to God or I would be truly brokenhearted. And there is too much joy in so much of the celebration to let the disappointments overshadow it.

As much as we would like to plan for the Christmas future, we don't know what is in store for us. Some of us talked about doing something totally different next year. Maybe a trip or a missions experience or gifts to someone needy or...  Who knows???  The important thing is to keep Christ in Christmas. I want to whisper quietly and shout loudly with my life that it's all about Jesus. He is the real reason for the season and the joy of my heart no matter what else is happening.

A Thankful Heart

Thanksgiving is this week! We have so much to be thankful for, but often we don't realize it or we forget our many blessings. We take them for granted. Today I want to begin to count my blessings...

1. My husband- the love of my life. We have had our difficulties (neither of us is perfect, but we are forgiven and forgiving!)

2. My children- God gives us children to teach us about life, love, and perseverance!

3. My grandchildren- They are a do-over and sweet revenge on my children. They make me smile!

4. Family and friends- You know who you are...

5. A home in the country

6. Food! And almost always I enjoy cooking.

7. Books- I love to read, maybe more than eating :-)

8. Homeschooling- I enjoy teaching my children and I enjoy continually learning!

9. Writing- I need to write and I have the tools to do it.

10. My computer and my i-phone

11. A van to take me places

12. Motorcycles

13. Vacations

14. My husband's job

15. Hope- because of faith in Jesus

16. And so much more... I could never say all the things I am thankful for. It is so healing to count blessings and to see how much we have. A grateful heart is rarely a discontent heart.  I will choose gratitude because it brings joy and I love to have joy in my heart!

A Weary Win

The election is over. The candidate I worked for won! Other things didn't go as I had hoped. So disappointment was mixed with the joy of victory.  It was an exhausting, fullfilling,  overwhelming task and now it is done...

Now what? I don't know. My summer and fall are gone. Winter is upon us here in Minnesota. And I feel lost. I so poured my heart, soul, and life into the campaign that I feel like I lost a part of myself now that it is finished. I can only hope my friends and family will forgive me for my neglect as I focused so intently on what was before me. It is not that I have regrets about doing it. I felt called to do it and felt sure God was pleased for me to work on this campaign. But I may have become over zealous in my pursuit of excellence and my hope of victory.

I know I neglected my faith journey. I got lost on it. We were not attending church and I did not worship. I prayed, but I did not take time to listen to God. I just moved on. I am sure some of my friends that are not into politics moved away from me or think I moved away from them. Now I need to work at repairing those relationships. More than one family crisis happened this summer and I gave them only what was necessary; no more. I had no more to give. I had no extra time to do anything, by my choice. I liked what I was doing. I blame no one, but me.

Only now I feel depleted, empty. I don't know where to get to the place of being where God wants me. I am sorely lacking in energy. As other situations have come up, I feel like withdrawing instead of working them through. I need some space to regroup, refocus, and relax. I need to move to a different place and find the next step. I always tell my daughter to "Do the next thing." She doesn't like hearing it and I understand, especially when you don't know what the next thing is.

So life goes on, and though the characters in it may change as as the circumstances change, God is faithful and I can trust Him. He never changes and He is there for me, even when I neglected Him. Oh, the grace He offers me and each of us. I will rest in that today.

Focus- Be in the Moment!

This morning as I was reading and thinking about life, the thought that  kept coming to my mind was to focus. Focus. Be in the moment. Yesterday I talked about being too busy to hear God, and then I realized sometimes I am too busy to be in the moment. I am too busy to really hear what the people around me are saying, feeling, needing... I give a hug, but keep doing, thinking, or talking without really enjoying the hug. I hold a child and keep going with my activities. I take a motorcycle ride with my husband to see the fall colors and I take notes on what needs to be done.

I multitask on things that need my full concentration and I think I am so efficient. But in reality, I do  things not as well when I am not fully in the moment. Nothing gets my full attention. Don't you hate it when you are having a conversation with someone and they keep looking past you or around you like you are not even there? Or worse yet, doesn't it drive you crazy when someone is texting the whole time you are trying to have a conversation with them?  I get so frustrated with those things, but I am sure I do them, too. Or similar things.

A Facebook quote that came to me today said,"Learn to appreciate what you have, before time makes you appreciate what you had." Wow! Instead of multitasking and trying to do everything at once, I need to learn to appreciate what is in the moment now. I need to truly "see" the people in  front of me. I want to hug with abandon and love freely. I want to focus on the beauty around me. I want to be fully alive, experiencing all God is opening me up to.

So as I am "still" before God, I am to focus.  I am to be in the moment and experience life to the fullest, bit by bit, not just in chunks missing the details. I'm already smiling because the joys from my heart are expanding already.