The Great Swimsuit Search

I have a daughter close to age 13. She is tall and thin. She is no longer a little girl, but she is not all grown up either. She needs a new swimsuit. And I couldn't find one!

The girls' sized ones just don't fit her. They are too wide, but not long enough. The junior sizes are skimpy. Women's sizes are too big.

I spent hours searching all the major retailers online for an answer. I saw more tummies, and cleavage than I ever wanted to. I felt like I had been searching soft porn sites. It really made me sad to see how much we expose our young girls. I don't want that much skin revealed on my daughter.

What are we saying to our young women when we only market to them clothing that doesn't cover them modestly. Do we really want them to show their bodies off like that?

I want my daughter to have a healthy view of her body, but I also want her to feel respected and valued beyond her body. I want her to dress comfortably and confidently. We were at a waterpark recently and so many of the young girls in their skimpy suits were pulling and tugging to keep the suit in place. It was embarrassing all around. The attention they got wasn't all positive. I felt sorry for them.

We did finally find some more modest swimsuits and they were expensive! But what choice did I have?

What we finally did was try on every top in every store that had swimsuits (tiring!) until we found something we could tolerate and almost like... :-) We even went back to stores more than once. we finally found a ladies' top in a small or extra small and then we took it to the girls department and found some athletic shorts that went with the colors in the top. We purchased some expensive liner type quick drying underwear for underneath and put it all together to create our own suit. It works, was way more than I wanted to pay, but she can be sure of the fit and comfort. Hope it lasts all summer! But I am guessing she will need another one before summer's end...

Restoration

Psalm 51: 12 says "Restore unto me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit."

Somewhere in the cold wastelands of winter, I lost that joy. I lost my passion. I haven't been unhappy or unproductive. I just have not had my usual sense of empathy, sensitivity, and hope. As  I look forward to spring and new life, I look forward to "renewing a right spirit within me."

I am looking for a challenge. I am seeking God's will. I am asking what I should do next. I am willing to do something different. I am not sure what form my willingness will take me. I just know I need to get on track.

My birthday is next week. Another year has gone by. Another year is beginning. I have a choice to be stuck in the past or to move forward. With God's help, I will move ahead. I have not even tried to meet any of my goals for this year so it's time. Maybe I need to review them and prioritize. Maybe I even need to set new goals.

I know I need to find the joy of my salvation and open my Bible more. I need to pray more. I need to put God in first place.

I am ready to step out of the desert. I am ready to drink the living water again.

How about you? What do you do to get out of a spiritual desert? How do you find the joy of your salvation again?

I will strive to find the joy of my heart again. As I do, I will share...

The Deep Freeze of Minnesota

Sometimes living in Minnesota is a real challenge. This is one of those times. I don't like winter. I don't like cold. And it is very cold right now! When the thermometer says -18 for the high, that is a problem. Below 0 and high should not go in the same sentence. Then add the wind chill and you get somewhere in the neighborhood of -44. You do not want to be outside for very long in that kind of weather. You can get frostbite in something like 3 minutes on exposed skin. It is dangerous. Schools have been closed because of the cold.

Our weather has been colder than Mars. It is colder than the North Pole. And did I mention I don't like cold weather?

I sit by the wood stove and plan vacations to warmer places. Cancun sounds good. My son likes Key West, Florida. Even Texas and other southern destinations are not all that warm this year. I am not sure of where to go.

The snow is already getting to me, too. I don't enjoy the winter sports so it has little value to me. When people tell me it is beautiful, I struggle to see what they see. It is white. and that is when it is clean... I like color. I feel like I am living in a black and white world. The only color ate the pine trees and that isn't enough for me. The sky has been too gray to cheer me. The days are short with too much darkness. I need light and color.

I have one hearty little plant that blooms year round and it helps my sanity as it surprises me with a bloom on even the coldest days. It makes me smile.

Why do I live in Minnesota? My children and grandchildren are all here. I grew up here.  My home is here. My husband's job is here.

But could that change? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know yet, but I am praying about it. If I am to remain in the deep freeze, God's love will keep me. I will find joy even in the cold. At least I will try...

Stuck in the Old?

As the New Year begins, it is fitting and proper to reflect back on the old year as well as plan for the new year. So before I even consider goals, resolutions, and dreams for the new year, I need to look back. What did last year hold? Was it a good year? Or a tough one? What would I want to repeat? What would I never want to happen again?

I started to think about 2013 and my first impression was that it was not a good year. I got stuck right there. Why did I feel that way? What happened that made me immediately come to that conclusion? I had to stop and think it through. I realized that it was basically one change in our family and lives that made me put a dark cloud on the whole year. While that one event has colored many other things in a negative light, it should not put a shadow over all that was good.

I needed to look at the year again without my dark glasses on. I had to push that one extremely sad part of my life out of the way so I could see all that was good. I didn't want to be stuck in the old year, unable to find peace and joy in the new year. I wanted to remember the good times, too. I want to rejoice in all that was positive.

So what was last year about? It was a year readjusting to changes in the family. It was a year to find out how to go on without having an older generation anymore in our lives. We are all older, with a few more aches and pains... It was a very cold winter followed by a summer we didn't really enjoy. Some of it was really hard. Some of it hurt a lot. Some of it was exhausting.

Yet there was much to celebrate as well! We received the gift of another granddaughter in June. Eleanor is a sweetheart. My husband got a raise. We got a different car and a different camper. We sold some motorcycles, a car, and the old camper. We went on a wonderful vacation to Washington DC and the East Coast. My daughter got a job. My son got a full-time position that we had long prayed for. I was able to reconnect with some old friends. We found a new home for our horses. Our church is getting a new pastor after being without a full-time one for over 2 years. We spent time together with family.  Those are just off the top of my head with little thought in it. If I looked at my calendar, I would probably find many more things to be thankful for. Was it a good year? Certainly! My dad always said that any day above ground was a good one! So if you are alive, It's a good day!

There were many good days! Many good days should add up to a good year. One good year should challenge me to find the good in the next.

So instead of being stuck in the old year or the old bad memories, it's time to look ahead to the New Year with anticipation and expectation. God has a plan for us and we can trust Him. We can stop letting the bad overshadow the good. We can press forward, onward, and be glad for another day, another year of life. We can remember the good and let that help us to trust going forward will have its rewards even if there are some difficulties along the way. We will continue to celebrate life and God's goodness to us. I am going to get 'unstuck!' On with the New!

Advent

Advent should be a time of expectation, a time of looking ahead and preparing. But for what?

If you are like me, you have made your Christmas lists. There is a list for gifts, for cookies and candies, for Christmas cards, for activities, and even a to do list with everything scheduled. I want to make sure I get it all done.

But have I included time to read my Bible so I can marvel anew at the Christmas story? Am I enjoying the decorations and lights? Am I tasting and savoring the flavors of all I bake? Am I feeling the joy?

Sometimes I forget to just enjoy the holiday season. I just get too busy. Yet I really love Christmas. I love all of it. So I am committed to find ways to have fun with it. I will say Merry Christmas more! I will smile. I might wear crazy earrings or sparkly clothes. We are listening to Christmas carols. We are  watching Christmas movies and I will read the favorite Christmas stories.

And I am looking for ways to share Jesus this Christmas season. I want to be His hand and feet. I want to meet some needs this season. I am praying God will show me the who and when.

I want to see Jesus this Christmas and I want others to see Him because of me. I am living in expectation and I will find joy this season! I am excited!

Hard Work of Being a Christian

It's hard work to be a Christian. So much is expected of you. It makes you think and act differently. You have to guard your thoughts and your words. There are rules to obey. We are to have a servant heart. Being a Christian changes who you are.

 I need to be perfectly clear. It is not hard to become a Christian. We do nothing to be saved, to become a Christian, except to accept His grace and mercy. Jesus has paid it all. We believe: Jesus offers us eternal life. We are saved by grace through faith. (Ephesians 2: 8, 9)

That's the easy part. But living as a Christian is hard. We have to choose to live as God wants us to. He doesn't force us. We become new creatures, yet it is a battle of wills. My will will constantly battle His will for me. Even though I am a Christian I sometimes just want to sleep in on Sunday mornings. Sometimes I feel like voicing my anger at a stupid driver. I want to speed. I don't want to be kind to those who mistreat me. I don't always want to give my money, or time, or myself. I often would like to ignore others' needs. I don't always choose to pray or read my Bible. I am not a bad person, but sometimes I want to think of myself first. I can be selfish. After all, the world tells me I deserve a break. I should treat myself well.  I often put my desires before what God desires for me.

I haven't done the big sins. I have never murdered or stole anything big. I have not broken any laws that require prosecution. I don't have any big sexual sins. I am a nice person. But without Christ's blood covering me, I am a sinner. Period. God doesn't rate sin. We are all sinners. We all have broken His Laws. We are not perfect. I am not perfect. But I am a sinner saved by grace. That is what makes me different.

His grace and mercy are what changes me and makes me different. I am loved completely. I belong to God's family. My identity comes from the God who created me. He says He created me for a purpose. He has a plan for my life. (Jeremiah 29; 11) I am secure in who He made me to be. Because of those truths, I choose to live differently.

I do get up early on Sunday mornings and go to church. I want to worship with other believers. I am careful of what I say. I try not to swear. I try to obey laws. I care about people because Christ cares for me. I want others to see a difference in me. I seek to commune with God. I seek His will. I read HIs word so I know what He is like and how He wants me to live. I want my faith to brand me. I want others to wonder what is different about me. I want them to ask. I want to be real enough in this walk so they will want to know what is different about me.

I fail everyday though. I am human and I often act just like I feel rather than how I should. Yet God forgives and always gives me a second chance. I don't always do it right, but I will do the hard work of being a Christian. If I am to have the name of Christ on me, I need to live differently. I need to make the hard choices. I hope you will see it in me and I hope I will see it in you. Together we can do the hard work and reap the joys of our hearts. Because serving Him does bring joy in spite of the hard work.

Saving the World

I woke up this morning and I had dreamed about a meeting with several people including several politicians and we were discussing how to change the world for the better. They were trying to figure out what influences people the most when they go to vote for specific candidates. The dialog was heated and finally I stood up and told them all, " The only thing that will change how people vote is when they have a change of heart. 93% of people will vote differently when they know Christ personally!" The room was quiet. They were not sure how to respond. I woke up still thinking about it.

Now where I got my statistics, I do not know. I dreamed this. But I will admit to searching the Internet to see if my statistic had any basis in facts. Sadly I didn't find any. I don't know about the 93%, but I know for me that  how I vote and my political activism is because of my faith in God and how I see the world because of that.

Yet as I searched the web, I realized that many people have a passion for something and that is what motivates them to be active in their causes. Some want to save our earth and are really involved with environmental issues. Some love animals and even how they eat is affected. We have peace movements who want to stop war at all costs. There are groups out there that are anti-Islamist, anti-Christian, anti-government. They band together by what they hate rather than by what they love. All of them believe, at least for a time, that their way is best and they should fight for it. Their way will make the world a better place to live. They will "save the world."

But the more I thought about it, the less I believed that any of them had the answers. I went back to my dream. The only thing that will really change the world is when people's hearts are changed and their actions follow. My way of being involved with politics isn't bad, but may not be the best way to spend my time either. Government cannot save us. I have been challenged by a dream and then by my research. An article I read said, "Nowhere in Scripture do we have the directive to spend our energy, our time, or our money in governmental affairs. Our mission lies not in changing the nation through political reform, but in changing hearts through the Word of God." That's not to say we just give up on politics. We still should vote and encourage good candidates who support our values to run. I don't believe we quit on it when God has given us that passion to serve in politics. I do think we have to keep our perspective balanced though and realize that while God can use every aspect of our lives, even politics, He works through other things, too. Maybe more so.

So what does this all mean? For me, it means I need to examine the time, energy and money I spend on political involvement and see if that is what God is continuing to call me to. Or should I, somehow, somewhere, be involved in another way of helping people to see that only in God will there be any true answers to the world's problems? Should I be investing myself more fully in pointing the way to Jesus? Because, really, culture, the world, can only be changed as hearts of individuals are changed. We can only "save the world" as people are saved by Jesus and their lives are transformed by Him. Then we will see a world that is truly changed for the better. Jesus is all that can really save the world. I just have to figure out my part in all of that.  I want to do my part, yet remembering His part is what is truly the most important! Jesus saves!

Pray Without Ceasing

I am so busy. How would I pray without ceasing? It seemed impossible. I just heard a young woman talk about how she has committed to praying a half hour each day and I was impressed with her dedication. But is that praying without ceasing? 1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to do it so it must be possible.

We pray every morning, at meals, and at bedtime. But that still isn't without ceasing. I wanted prayer to come as easily as breathing; then maybe it would be without ceasing. Part of it is my attitude. I need to want to be in communication with my Lord. He doesn't need me to be praying all the time, but He knows I need to be in sweet fellowship with Him.

To have a relationship with someone you must communicate with them. If you never speak, write letters, or otherwise communicate, you can not have a meaningful relationship. You can't get to know someone well without talking to them. God desires us to know Him and we must communicate with Him in order to know Him. If we are to develop trust, we have to develop the relationship and that requires communication.

I knew I wanted to have that relationship with God and that I wanted to pray without ceasing so I could develop that relationship. So I read some books on prayer. I listened to others pray. I prayed. But I needed reminders, markers, to help me keep in the attitude of prayer. I heard of one man who set his watch alarm for every 15 minutes to remind him to pray. That might work, but it might annoy everyone around you as well!

I needed connections that would remind me to pray. So I came up with specific ones to help me pray specifically. When I hear a siren, I pray for the victims of whatever is happening, but also for the responders. My son is in law enforcement, so for me, this is very important, as I know some of the tough situations he faces. Another son is in the military so anything military related can remind me to pray for the troops and for their families. I put up a bulletin board in my bedroom and I can post pictures, names, whatever, to remind me to pray for certain people. Driving by a church might be a reminder to pray for my pastor or pastors in general. When something reminds me of someone, I can use that to remember to pray for that person. A gift given to me can make me pray for the giver. You can pray for your family members as you fold their clothes. You can be thankful as you wash dishes or clean house. A walk through the neighborhood can mean you pray for all the neighbors. Insomnia at night prompts me to pray through the whole family and then friends, church, and more- depending how long I am awake! Photos in your house can remind you, too. Some are on the refrigerator; others framed or on a bulletin board. There are so many ways to put up markers to remind yourself to pray. Be creative!

 Besides your own markers, the Holy Spirit will nudge you to pray for others, too. When you get used to communing with God, you will hear Him more, too. People will pop into your head and you will know that you should be praying for them. The Holy Spirit will lead you into more prayer.

When you get in the habit of prayer and use the markers that you have set up for yourself to remember, you will pray more. Some are only a sentence. We sometimes say, "Thank you, Lord, for the sunshine." or "Lord , help ___________", "Lord, be with __________." It isn't always the half hour; it may be just those sentences that recognize God's sovereignty and our trust in Him. Sometimes you may need to have the half hour or more, but not always. God hears our moans, our utterances, our sighs even. It can become as easy as breathing. He is there waiting for us, listening to us, desiring us to come to Him. He wants us to have a relationship with Him.

The more you pray, the closer you will get to God. And the more you pray, the more others will ask you to pray. If others know you are a prayer warrior and that you are sincere in doing it when you say you will, they will want your prayers. I always feel privileged when others ask me to pray for them. They trust me to do it and it draws me closer to God, too.

Pray without ceasing? It's not impossible. It's an attitude, a way of life. When you say, "Thank God!" Mean it as a prayer. When you say, "Lord, help me!" Say it as a prayer. Let those expressions be real.
Notice your world, the people around you, and talk to God about it all. Breathe in air; breathe out prayer. Pray without ceasing. It will bless you and others!

Tooth Decay and Healing

I have never liked going to the dentist and lately that feeling has intensified. Every time I go, I have a problem, pain, and then more delayed pain afterwards. Sometimes it is 5 days later; sometimes a week or more. I talked to my dentist about it and he said he had never heard of such a thing. The pain afterwards should be immediate if it were at all. It seems to me to be where I received the anesthetic.  Because I really dislike mouth pain, I really don't like to go, knowing I will suffer later. So I have put off going to the dentist often.

Finally I had had enough and decided to go in and have my dentist tell me all that had to be done to make it all better. I had an exam and x-rays. I scheduled my first appointment and it was over an hour long. I was tense and uncomfortable. I did survive. But I didn't immediately make the next appointment. I should have. Another tooth started hurting. I called and was given a prescription for antibiotics and pain pills. The pain didn't persist so I didn't take the prescription. I hate taking pills.

We went camping and I forgot my pills. I had hoped I wouldn't need them. Well... I did need them. But on another tooth. And it really hurt bad. When we got back home, I called my dentist the next day. They didn't get back to me right away. I really was in pain. I had not slept hardly at all. I felt worthless and could hardly function. Unbeknownst to me my husband called the dentist office, too, and then they called me back and told me to come in right away. They would work me in as they could. Apparently my husband can be very persuasive! I was told that my nerve was dead. I asked why there was so much pain if my nerve was dead. My dentist told me the tooth was infected all the way to the bone, and the pain wasn't going away anytime soon.

I am on the 4th day of throbbing pain and little sleep. I am not getting hardly anything done. I have little energy and am tired. I do not deal with the sharp pain well and have tried many home remedies to get by. Alternating heat and cold seem to help most along with alternating Tylenol and ibuprofen. The Vicodin prescription makes me fuzzy minded, dizzy, and tired, so I only take it at night if I can't get through the night.

I have been miserable; I am still miserable, just to a bit lesser degree. I have typed this blog. I will do dishes today. So I guess I am better.

Tomorrow I go to the dentist again. I am scared. I know in the long run, it will help, but I know I will have pain and I don't like pain. When the pain is gone, I will be thankful. And when I chew my food without pain next time, I won't take it for granted. I don't think I will anyway.

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I went to the dentist and he sent me home! He didn't want to start anything else until we had this cleared up. My jaw is still swollen and it has been almost a week. I am eating more things and the throbbing isn't continuous. I have hope of healing.

At a Radiant Purity  conference for girls that I took my 12 year old to this weekend, one of the speakers asked us if we had ever had a cavity. She asked if we had ever had it get infected. I could relate! I had the swelling to prove it! She compared it to sin in our lives that we need to root out and clean out. You can't just cover it up with a filling. You have to drill out the bad stuff first. Then you can fix it. We all have things in our lives that need dealing with, that need to be fixed. We have things we need to get rid of.  Sometimes pain comes with that. Then we can get on with the healing.

I am looking forward to the healing! I can't wait to chew without pain again. I look forward to closing my mouth without a sharp jab. But I also am asking the Lord to reveal if there is anything else that needs to be rooted out, drilled away, decay to be cleaned out of my life. I might as well do it now. I don't like pain and I am looking forward to healing.

Apples, Apples, Apples

Fall at our house is synonymous with apple harvest. We have about 9 trees that bear fruit, whenever and how much they choose each season. This year is a good bearing year. Even though I did not spray my trees this year, my apples are wonderful. No bugs, no worms. Several of the trees did very well.

So now it is time to use all those apples!

Apple pie, apple bread, apple strudel, apple juice, apple turnovers, applesauce, apple fruit leather, dried apples, fried apples, apple piekins, apple pie bars, apple cake, apple crisp... You get the picture!

 And we are not done.

We have yet to make apple rolls, apple dumplings, apple topped cheesecake, apple upside down gingerbread, apple jam, apple syrup, apple salad, apple butter, apple pancakes, apple cobbler, caramel apples, apple coffeecake, apple muffins, apple cookies...

We do actually get tired of them and then we freeze them! (For later!)

I used to can hundreds of jars of vegetables, but with a smaller family at home, I have quit that. But I love my apple trees and how they provide so much variety for us in our desserts and meals.
God has blessed us!