Death and Life...

If you had only a short time to live, what would you do with the time you had left? Life's brevity has once again forced its way into my thoughts. Someone close to me just had a heart attack. My father-in-law has lung cancer. Someone we were friends with a long time ago had a tragic accident and died. And we are all aging... With both my parents and my mother-in-law already gone to Heaven, it doesn't seem so far away as it once did. We are all closer to death than we want to admit. We are all terminal. We just don't know when our time is.

These thoughts may seem morbid to you, but they really aren't. I am not afraid to die. But I am not ready to die in the sense that I love the life God has given me. I love my family and friends. I treasure those relationships and don't want to give them up yet. I enjoy where God has placed me. I want to serve Him and be all I can today. While I have breath and strength, I want to do His will.

So back to my first question. What would you do with your time if you only had today? Or a week? Or a month? Or a lifetime, however long or short? Does the amount make a difference?  Would you live differently if you knew when your end was coming? I am sure I would, but a part of me hopes I wouldn't change all that much. I hope I am living in the place I am supposed to be, doing what God wants and fullfilling the desires He has put in me. I hope my love for those in my life is evident. I am still working on that!

One friend bought a new truck because he thought he should enjoy what time he has left. Another person just refuses to accept the inevitable, denying what is ahead.  We are all different; we would all face the possibility of death differently.

I would want to restore a broken relationship. I want to do that now, but don't know how. I would be even more intentional in sharing the hope I have in Christ. I would write letters, call those whom I care about. I would let my friends know how important they are to me. I would tell my children and my husband how much they mean to me. I would deepen my relationship with Christ. I would...

Why not do those things now? I already know that I don't know how long on Earth I have, or you have. So shouldn't I live as if the end is near and not get all caught up in what is unimportant? In Sunday School we are talking about margin. We discussed how often the urgent takes precedence over the important. How many times do we ask others to wait while we finish a task when we could have shown them some love and consideration right then? Sometimes the moment vanishes to never come again. We have all lost those moments and have had regrets.

I want to live in the present with my eye on the future. I want to plan for what is ahead, but not miss out on what is in front of me. Want to join me in this adventure and see what joys our hearts will gather together?

Broken resolutions

I had hoped to blog consistently. It wasn't really a New Year's Resolution, more of a plan, hope and/or desire. But it hasn't happened. I think of what I want to write all the time, but things get in the way. I rarely find the time to sit and write. So many things happen that I do not have control of. But I will try again...

Are there other things that you thought would be different this year? Are there things that you hoped you would do and haven't had the time, energy, or finances to do? Is there something that has kept you from doing what you hoped to do?

 What I have learned is that I must be flexible. I recently read a book One Perfect Word by Debbie MacComber that challenges you to choose a word to focus on for the whole year. You study it, learn it from all directions, and grow from it. I thought long and hard about what my word would be if I did this and the word that came to me for right now was adaptability. I feel like I am in a place where I must continually be adapting to new situations and plans, and accept what is before me. It is so hard sometimes to plan and look forward to  things, only to have them change because of someone else. Yet I have chosen to be 'on call' for certain people in my life and when they need me, I try to be there for them. When it changes my plans, I need to go with a joyful heart that says, "I care about you."

So what does this have to do with broken resolutions? Resolutions, goals are good. We all need to put goals in front of ourselves that stretch us and force us to move beyond where we are right now. We need to do things that cause us to rely on God. Yet no resolution or goal is more important than people and relationships. So instead of beating myself up for not keeping my resolutions, I am OK with it. I have not attained all my goals... Yet... Instead I have reached for other goals, doing what God has placed in front of me for this moment. I am trying to reach out in love, letting go of my ideas of what I should be doing. I tell my daughter often, "It is only for a season." No situation lasts forever. There will be times to do other things, like writing, in the future, if God wills it! If not, I know He is writing His story on our hearts and I want to be part of that most of all. That is the true joy of my heart.