I never dreamed about being a grandparent. I always wanted to be a wife and a mom, but I never thought about what it would truly be like to be a grandparent. Once when my children were younger, and there were only five then, they told me they would each have five and I would have 25 grandchildren. They joked about how I would have to line them all up in sleeping bags across my library floor when they all slept over. That was the only thought I had about it. I never thought about it in reality.
My first grandson was born when my youngest was almost seven months old. I was so busy with my own baby, it was hard to truly grandparent. I had my own baby to hold. She was a month early, so tiny and petite, so unexpected. She was my gift, my precious one. I was so enraptured by her that I am sure I didn't totally get the whole experience of first time grandparenting.
My grandchildren continued to arrive almost every year after that. If there was a break for a year, I got two the next year. I have fifteen age twelve and under. I have ten granddaughters and five grandsons. Two of my grandsons were born this year. I am truly blessed with lots of little ones. Six of them call me Grandma and nine of them call me Oma.
They all seem to love to come and visit and we do lots of things with them. I usually have special snacks for them and do meals they like. I try to make it special for them. But the best thing I did for them was to have my last two children. My younger two daughters are the real reason they love to come to Grandma's. They love their Auntie Mandy and their Naynay.
Naynay is closest to their age and she plays with them. They adore her. They nag her, call to her, beg her, and generally just want to be with her. They love her and she is great with them. They often look for her first when they get here. Mandy reads to them and plays with them, too.
I never thought what it would be like to be a grandparent so I didn't know how much fun it could be. Or how exhausting it could be because there are so many. One weekend in April, we had ten of them overnight. Ten under eight years old! I am not sure if we would have had as much fun if I wouldn't have had my younger daughters here to help and make it fun. We divide the duties, the activities, and sometimes the kids. We work together to make it work. We help the kids get along and enjoy each other. It is a great team effort!
Grandparenting is so different for us than it was for my parents or my grandparents. All of them were basically retired as they grand-parented our children. They had more leisure time and were more able to be there at different times. They had less commitments than we do. And they were not still parenting at the same time. I still need to be a parent first to my girls at home, especially as I am still homeschooling one. Sometimes that presents a conflict in my time with my married children and grandchildren. I haven't always figured it all out and I know I haven't done it all right. I want to be there for all of them, but the balance is hard at times. It is hard to prioritize when I love them all. I try to say yes as often as I can to babysitting, but once in a while I just have to say no. I try hard to make it work.
Our grandparenting may not be excellent, but we love all of them and are glad to know them as well as we do. We are blessed to get to spend time with them often. We are glad to be part of their lives. We are particularly blessed to have two daughters at home who love the kids and show it so well. They have made being a grandparent so much easier. I have to admit sometimes I get jealous when some of the kids come and I never see them because they are so busy with their aunts. But truly I recognize how God knew best when he blessed us with our last two unplanned children because only He could have known how they would bless the nest generation, too.
Being a grandparent is fun, rewarding, and sometimes tiring. It is truly a joy to see your children parent and it is another chance to love on little ones. I didn't dream about it. I didn't plan for it. But it is here and I am glad to share this time with Grandpa (Opa) and the aunts at home. It is another joy God has put in my heart.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Hospitality
Hospitality is something I was taught and something we lived as I grew up. My mom wasn't a fantastic cook and didn't do it all perfectly from an entertainment stand point, but she was always welcoming. She made simple meals, but wasn't afraid to share them. My dad would call home and say that he was bringing a salesman home for lunch and she never got flustered(at least that I could see!) She would just set another place. Sometimes it was just soup or a simple sandwich. There wasn't always dessert, maybe just some store bought cookies. Yet she served with a smile and offered what she had.
When we started building our house 25 years ago, I wanted our home to be an open home that would share that same hospitality. I prayed that we would always be welcoming when the house was done. Yet God does have a sense of humor sometimes, and the stipulation of when it was done was not heard. I cooked on the woodstove before we got our stove. And I had overnight guests before I had all the walls in. But we tried to love and welcome people and they kept coming.
We have had people live with us at different times. We have had guests for extended visits. We have babysat, done daycare, and hosted classes and Bible Studies. We do many family gatherings and celebrate holidays at our home. We have had one person and we have had 80 plus people. Our home is a house well lived in and is never perfect; nor are we.
Last week my niece's son called my son and told him he was coming for a visit from out of state. He was bringing his wife whom we had not met with. My son told them the could stay with us! And this is not the first time my adult children have invited people to our house instead of theirs.
My nephew sent me a Facebook message confirming that it was ok to come and asked for my phone number. I sent it back and asked them when they would be coming. He told me around noon so I told him to come for lunch. When I gave them my phone number, I asked him to call on his way so I would know when to expect them. The next day was the appointed day and I got up and started to prepare for them. I vacuumed and picked up around the house. I started bread rising and planned on making soup, salad, and apple bread. I had plenty of time so I thought I would shower after I vacuumed. As I finished, my dog barked. But she barks at airplanes and not always at cars so I finished. I looked up and Nathan was at the door! I ran into the bedroom, and after yelling, "Come in!", I said, "You are early! It isn't noon!" How hospitable of me! I told them to take a seat and asked my daughter to see if they wanted something to drink. I took my shower, got dressed and then came out to meet his wife. It was a lovely start to our visit! While we talked, I cooked and made lunch, since I wasn't ready. They were gracious guests. I hadn't scared them away...
I often tell guests that they are only guests once, then they join the family and should help themselves. Some feel at home immediately and help themselves. Others take longer. While Nathan had not even been in my home for about 5 years, apparently he felt comfortable there. When he and his wife got back after visiting my son and family, he came up and got himself a glass of milk and the next morning , he took some extra bread for the road. I felt blessed that he felt comfortable enough to get what he needed. I was glad that my home was a place he felt he could be at home in.
As we have opened our home to others, we have learned much. We have learned about those who came to us, but we also learned about ourselves. Some guests we have enjoyed more than others. Some were difficult. We had to learn to be gracious even when we didn't feel like it. We had to learn to put aside our own interests and care for those with us. Sometimes we had to stand up for ourselves, but not often. Most people have just enjoyed being in our home, eating what we make, and staying with us. Many come back again and again.
God gave us the gift of our home. We have been blessed by it. We had hoped to use it for Him someday, but any day is a good day to share what He has given us and we try. Sometimes we get worn out, but it is only a season, for a time. We make the best of it. And on the quiet days, we just enjoy it ourselves. We are grateful for our home and feel privileged to share it.
Hospitality starts in the heart. It comes from a grateful spirit willing to share what you have. It isn't entertaining, and it isn't perfect. Anyone can do it. It might mean sharing soup or potato pancakes as I once did to a young man who had never had them before. It might mean some of the kids sleep on the floor in sleeping bags. Mostly it's just being welcoming, letting others into your family and home. The Bible tells us to "practice hospitality." We may never get it perfectly, but we all can keep practicing!
When we started building our house 25 years ago, I wanted our home to be an open home that would share that same hospitality. I prayed that we would always be welcoming when the house was done. Yet God does have a sense of humor sometimes, and the stipulation of when it was done was not heard. I cooked on the woodstove before we got our stove. And I had overnight guests before I had all the walls in. But we tried to love and welcome people and they kept coming.
We have had people live with us at different times. We have had guests for extended visits. We have babysat, done daycare, and hosted classes and Bible Studies. We do many family gatherings and celebrate holidays at our home. We have had one person and we have had 80 plus people. Our home is a house well lived in and is never perfect; nor are we.
Last week my niece's son called my son and told him he was coming for a visit from out of state. He was bringing his wife whom we had not met with. My son told them the could stay with us! And this is not the first time my adult children have invited people to our house instead of theirs.
My nephew sent me a Facebook message confirming that it was ok to come and asked for my phone number. I sent it back and asked them when they would be coming. He told me around noon so I told him to come for lunch. When I gave them my phone number, I asked him to call on his way so I would know when to expect them. The next day was the appointed day and I got up and started to prepare for them. I vacuumed and picked up around the house. I started bread rising and planned on making soup, salad, and apple bread. I had plenty of time so I thought I would shower after I vacuumed. As I finished, my dog barked. But she barks at airplanes and not always at cars so I finished. I looked up and Nathan was at the door! I ran into the bedroom, and after yelling, "Come in!", I said, "You are early! It isn't noon!" How hospitable of me! I told them to take a seat and asked my daughter to see if they wanted something to drink. I took my shower, got dressed and then came out to meet his wife. It was a lovely start to our visit! While we talked, I cooked and made lunch, since I wasn't ready. They were gracious guests. I hadn't scared them away...
I often tell guests that they are only guests once, then they join the family and should help themselves. Some feel at home immediately and help themselves. Others take longer. While Nathan had not even been in my home for about 5 years, apparently he felt comfortable there. When he and his wife got back after visiting my son and family, he came up and got himself a glass of milk and the next morning , he took some extra bread for the road. I felt blessed that he felt comfortable enough to get what he needed. I was glad that my home was a place he felt he could be at home in.
As we have opened our home to others, we have learned much. We have learned about those who came to us, but we also learned about ourselves. Some guests we have enjoyed more than others. Some were difficult. We had to learn to be gracious even when we didn't feel like it. We had to learn to put aside our own interests and care for those with us. Sometimes we had to stand up for ourselves, but not often. Most people have just enjoyed being in our home, eating what we make, and staying with us. Many come back again and again.
God gave us the gift of our home. We have been blessed by it. We had hoped to use it for Him someday, but any day is a good day to share what He has given us and we try. Sometimes we get worn out, but it is only a season, for a time. We make the best of it. And on the quiet days, we just enjoy it ourselves. We are grateful for our home and feel privileged to share it.
Hospitality starts in the heart. It comes from a grateful spirit willing to share what you have. It isn't entertaining, and it isn't perfect. Anyone can do it. It might mean sharing soup or potato pancakes as I once did to a young man who had never had them before. It might mean some of the kids sleep on the floor in sleeping bags. Mostly it's just being welcoming, letting others into your family and home. The Bible tells us to "practice hospitality." We may never get it perfectly, but we all can keep practicing!
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