How an Auction Changed my Thinking

We had an auction on Saturday. We sold the contents of my father-in-law and mother-in-law's house. Both of them have passed away and we just could not keep all they had collected over the years. And they had collected a lot! They enjoyed antiques, collectibles, sporting goods, tools and more. Their collections were vast! They were not hoarders. They displayed and enjoyed what they bought. The hunt for their treasures gave them much pleasure. We enjoyed it with them.

It was tough to prepare for the auction, to know all their beloved things were going to be sold to others. It was hard to take down pictures, to put it all in boxes. It was worse to line it all up outside on wet ground. It was positively awful to let it all get rained on all day as we tried to sell it, and it hurt to have the majority of it go for very little. We had hoped for many more people, but the few that came stayed through the rain and some got some very good deals. It was depressing for us though. At the end, we had a poor auction and we were cold and wet and tired. We had lots of wet stuff to move and dry out and plenty that didn't sell. We had mud everywhere and tracks through the yard from the multiple vehicles.  It was not a good weekend.

So what did I learn from it all? I could say we should have advertised better or planned differently, but who knows what would have changed the outcome? The majority of the stuff is gone and it is over except for some more clean-up. What I learned again is that you can't control everything. And we can't see the big picture. I may never know why it went like it did so I need to let it go...

I also learned that it was just things. Yes, those things mattered to some people I loved, but the people are gone and the things don't matter to them anymore. It was time to let them go. The memories I have can't be taken from me. I don't need all the things to think about them. Things won't bring back those we love. And those things can become burdensome if we are only holding onto them to hold onto people who have already gone. Hopefully those things will give another pleasure like they did for my in-laws.

What else did I learn? I learned I shouldn't hold so tight to my things. I should keep what I love and I should love less! I don't need everything I have. I can donate more and let others enjoy those things that are not important to me. I don't want my children to have to agonize over what to do with my things someday. I want them to have what they want, but I want to free them from obligation to keep what they do not need or want. Once I am gone, it doesn't matter to me. I don't want them to fight over things either. Things are not more important than relationships.

 Because I had to relearn the value of all those things as I watched them sell or not sell and some of it get ruined in the rain, I re-evaluated what was important. The day did not go as we planned. The sale did not go as we thought it would. The things did not sell for what we hoped for. We didn't get out of it what we wanted. But in the end, when it was all over, I had to think about what was important. People are what is important. Only they have eternal value. We should not invest our lives in getting things or keeping and maintaining things. We should invest our lives in caring for and serving others. We should share our faith and hope with others. We should work at making a difference in others' lives. That's the most important thing I learned. It changed my thinking. I hope it changes my life.

Be a Friend

I am a homeschool mom and have been for 26 years. I have about 4 years left! I am a parent of 6. Four of my children have married; one has divorced. All 4 of them have 3 or more children, giving me 15 grandchildren! I have 2 daughters at home yet. I am happily married to a great, fun, hardworking guy. I have only 1 cat and 1 dog at present. We have a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house on 3 levels. Our home sits on 17 1/2 acres. We have a garden and a big yard. We heat with wood mostly. I am the homeschool co-op coordinator in my area, and I teach at co-op often. I am very politically involved, also.

I tell you these things, not to bore you, but to show you I am busy. Aren't we all? We each have our own unique little worlds. We fill them with what is important to us. We keep busy with lots of things. When I am not busy with the duties of all those other things, I like to cook and bake. I sew some and like to write. When I am teaching at co-op, I like to develop my own curriculum to teach. I love to read and read about 3 books a week. My family can fill lots of my hours as I babysit for grandchildren or do other things with and for them

But do you see what is missing? I didn't really until recently. I have lots of people in my life, but not much time for friends. I have casual, social friends. There are people in my life I really, really like. We see each other at political events, church or homeschool events. But none of them are friends I would really confide in or ask for help from. It took an auction to make me realize this. We are having a big estate auction to sell off my in-laws' collections, household items, tools, and antiques. It is a big deal. We need help. We could not think of hardly anyone to ask for help. We have 6 kids, but only half are available. We did ask a neighbor who my husband had helped with an auction last year. There were a couple others we asked, but we realized we didn't know who else to ask.

Have we been so busy with family and other things that we have not cultivated true friendships? Have we not been there for others when they needed us? I don't know what I could have done differently or how I could have lived differently to change this. But what I do know is that it is important to find friends and to cultivate those relationships. In different seasons of life, we have had friends we did things with and for. Just now though, it seems as if we are lacking.

So my advice is to be a friend to someone. Be there for someone. Share with them. Enjoy things together. Talk to each other. Help them out when you can. Have fun together. Take time to cultivate friendships. Make time for friends. You never know when you might really need a true friend.