I enjoy cooking. I love to try new recipes. I like to cook for groups, I like to experiment with new foods. I watch cooking shows. I read cookbooks. I subscribe to cooking magazines. I like to feed people food they enjoy. It gives me pleasure to cook for others. I like to plan meals and shop for what I need.
Most of the time, anyway....
Occasionally I just don't feel like cooking. Or eating. Nothing appeals to me. I look at my cookbooks and turn page after page.... I watch a cooking show and get bored. I shut it off. I shop with nothing in mind, hoping something will inspire me. I go through my recipes and feel nothing but apathy.
My family has come to expect meals. They like to eat at regularly appointed times, not just when I feel inspired. So out of duty, I do try to put something on the table that passes as a meal. My daughters take pity on all of us and fill in the gaps when I am lacking my normal passion for cooking. My husband will take us out or bring something home when this happens, too. I am not chastened, but instead comforted by their attention. Of course, it could be because they want to eat.
This mood or phase does not happen often, thankfully. Sometimes it happens when I am tired or not feeling particularly well. But I think it happens when I am on the brink of a minor depression, when things are happening beyond my control that hurt me or affect me negatively. I am unable to be creative when I am stuck in a problem. I am unable to make decisions well when my emotions are in a mess. Everyday ordinary things can become a burden when you are trying to solve bigger issues. Planning a meal or 30 days of meals seems overwhelming when usually I enjoy the challenge.
But sometimes we must operate simply out of duty and do what is necessary. We serve because it is the right thing to do. Even if it seems too hard, if we volunteer to go beyond what is necessary, it puts our minds in a more positive place. So even if I don't feel like it, I try to push myself to do it anyway and to do it as well as I can.
So I will feed my family. And others. I will cook. I will find new recipes. I will find my joy in it. I will look for the passion in me that makes me do it well. I will not allow a mood or whatever has caused that 'mood' to make me lose my enthusiasm for it. Soon. Sometime soon...
If you have a recipe to share, let me know. It could be a favorite comfort food or something you have wanted to try or a recipe for finding joy. I will take any of them! You might be my inspiration!
