Christian Identity

I am a Christian. It is part of my identity. I live differently because that is who I am. I think differently because of it. It colors my world completely. I have attended church my whole life. I have read the Bible through more than once. I pray everyday. I read Christian books. I am careful about what I watch for movies. I try to share my faith with others. My faith helps me determine my priorities. It is the most important part of me being me.

And yet, there are times I feel like I am living on autopilot. I am so a part of the Christian culture that I move through life living like a Christian, but doing it without consciousness. I know what is right and I do it. I am intentional in my behavior, but am often unaware that I am even making a choice.

This isn't bad. My faith walk is so ingrained in me that I move forward purposely. I have a strong sense of who I am and what my convictions are. My faith defines me. And it is real to me.

But sometimes it feels wrong. It is too easy. I feel stuck in a rut of my own choosing. I am just doing what comes naturally and am not challenged. I don't want my Christianity to be just a part of my identity or part of my lifestyle. I want to once again feel "the joy of my salvation." (Psalm 51: 12) I want to be like David, who in Psalm119, delights in God's Word. I want to be a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17) I want to put on a new self. (Colossians 3)

I am just not sure where to begin again. Do I step out in faith, do something that stretches me? Do I get into God's Word? Do I need to step into service somewhere? Do I need to pray more? Go to church more? Listen to more Christian radio? Yes, yes, and yes. IF THAT IS WHAT GOD IS ASKING ME TO DO... I do need to pray, but I need to listen as well. I need to do what He is asking of me and not jump ahead too far and too fast. But I do need to do and not just wait because then I may just miss what is in front of me. Maybe I just need to be obedient to do what I know to do.

My restless soul is asking for change. It is telling me to wake up and become more than a Christian by name, a Christian like everybody else. I need to find my uniqueness and my calling and to step out in faith to become more than what I am.

Do you know this restlessness? Are you, like me, knowing there is more to faith than just holding on to it? Do you know God is calling us to step out in faith to live more radically? Is Christianity only part of your identity, but not part of your passion? My mission this summer is to rediscover that passion and calling. What does God have for me? For you?