A Weary Win

The election is over. The candidate I worked for won! Other things didn't go as I had hoped. So disappointment was mixed with the joy of victory.  It was an exhausting, fullfilling,  overwhelming task and now it is done...

Now what? I don't know. My summer and fall are gone. Winter is upon us here in Minnesota. And I feel lost. I so poured my heart, soul, and life into the campaign that I feel like I lost a part of myself now that it is finished. I can only hope my friends and family will forgive me for my neglect as I focused so intently on what was before me. It is not that I have regrets about doing it. I felt called to do it and felt sure God was pleased for me to work on this campaign. But I may have become over zealous in my pursuit of excellence and my hope of victory.

I know I neglected my faith journey. I got lost on it. We were not attending church and I did not worship. I prayed, but I did not take time to listen to God. I just moved on. I am sure some of my friends that are not into politics moved away from me or think I moved away from them. Now I need to work at repairing those relationships. More than one family crisis happened this summer and I gave them only what was necessary; no more. I had no more to give. I had no extra time to do anything, by my choice. I liked what I was doing. I blame no one, but me.

Only now I feel depleted, empty. I don't know where to get to the place of being where God wants me. I am sorely lacking in energy. As other situations have come up, I feel like withdrawing instead of working them through. I need some space to regroup, refocus, and relax. I need to move to a different place and find the next step. I always tell my daughter to "Do the next thing." She doesn't like hearing it and I understand, especially when you don't know what the next thing is.

So life goes on, and though the characters in it may change as as the circumstances change, God is faithful and I can trust Him. He never changes and He is there for me, even when I neglected Him. Oh, the grace He offers me and each of us. I will rest in that today.