My youngest daughter is off to camp this week. Though we have been apart for 5-6 days before, this is the first time she has not had the means to contact me or for me to contact her. It is a separation of the toughest kind for both of us. I have no doubt she will be busy and will even enjoy her absence more than I will. But I want her to have the opportunity, the experience to be her without me around.
She is 13, a new teen. Many feel sorry for me as I enter the teen phase of parenting again. Yet I am thoroughly enjoying it and her. Maybe because we are a homeschooling family that spends most of our time together, maybe she is just extraordinary, but I like my teen. I like spending time with her. That doesn't mean we never clash; we do. But we really do get along and we like doing things together. She is a blessing to me. She keeps me young, doing things I maybe wouldn't ordinarily do in my 50's.
My teen likes to try things so I am sure this will be the first of many times when I will have to let her go beyond my comfort zone. Parenting is training, teaching, and then letting go as they live out what they have learned. It doesn't always go the way you hope. Children don't always learn what you taught. I know this because I am not a novice in this parenting thing. I have 5 adult children, too. Sometimes I revel in the fact that my adult children are teaching their children what I taught them. Sometimes I grieve when the lessons most important to me are ignored now in their adult lives. But the one thing I have learned is to never give up on them and to never quit praying for them. No matter where they go or what they do, they will never escape a mother's prayers.
So as I suffer separation anxiety from my daughter, I am praying often. I am praying she has fun, I want her to meet some new friends. I am hoping she is loving riding horse as I once did. I am praying that her faith will grow and she will be challenged to live it in a new way. And as a mom, I am praying she eats well, sleeps well, and doesn't get hurt or sick. I also don't want her to miss us too much. Her tender heart will be thinking of us.
Separation is hard, but is a learning step for all of us. I am leaving her in God's hands (a million times a day!) and she is learning to trust God in new situations. It is a growing time and we will both better appreciate each other again. It is good because of these things, but I am really looking forward to Friday!
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