What do you do when life disappoints you? Do you get depressed, upset, angry? Do you get hurt? How do you handle it? Do you just push it away or let it simmer in your soul?
Recently I had a few people in my life disappoint me. One person lied to me. Another pushed me away and another hurt me by pointing out my inadequacies... Each of those things made me question the relationship. It made me wonder if I had put more value on the relationship than the other person did. It made me ask how important the relationship was to me.
Of course, emotions got in the way! I was alternately saddened and frustrated. Then when I got past those emotions, I could think more rationally about it all. That doesn't mean the hurt just goes away. It still resurfaces and I have to deal with it again. I just choose to release the hurt as it comes and concentrate on whether the relationship is worth the pain that comes with it. All three of the people that disappointed me are people I love so I am not willing to give up the reationship. So what do I do?
I confronted the one that lied to me and we were able to choose forgiveness and restoration. The confrontation wasn't pleasant, but was healing. I will not confront the one that has pushed me away because that doesn't seem to be the right thing to do right now. All of us need space sometimes and I will respect that for now. The third person may not know she has hurt me or she may have intentionally done it. Because I don't know for sure, I am unsure of how to handle it. For now, I will choose to just love her.
Life has so many ups and downs. And it is so busy... We can get so busy that we don't deal with issues with people or we can be so busy that the issues just aren't as important. Relationships are important to me and I am always more than ready to apologize if I need to and I need to often. I often speak first and then have to rethink if what I said hurt someone. But because I am so busy at this stage in my life, I want things settled. I don't like unresolved conflict. Sometimes I push for resolution when the other person isn't ready which can cause more problems. Or I just want to give up when it isn't in my time table. I am usually prepared to forgive and let go fairly easily because I don't have the time and energy to hold a grudge.
I am not sure what this says about how I handle conflict. As I get older, I am more ready to see another person's side of things. I am more able to not let every issue be a' live or die' issue. I am not less passionate about what I believe, just more understanding that others come from a different place. That doesn't mean I always agree or condone, I just try to be more patient.
Life's disappointments are for learning. I learn more about myself and others. I can become stronger or give up when faced with life's challenges. I choose to remember that God is with me and that He loves me. He created me and He is not finished with me yet! Though I may struggle with disappointments, the joy in my heart comes from knowing I am accepted by Him!
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