Escape

Yesterday was a day that totally stressed me out and for no apparent reason. I just couldn't keep from focusing on a situation that is distressing me, yet I have no control over. Eventually I got a headache and I was totally tired out. I just wanted to escape.

So I did escape to Alaska. Thanks to Dani Pettrey and her book Shattered, I entered a different world with different problems. I could let go of mine. What a blessed release! What a great escape!

Books are one of my favorite escapes. I can go to a new part of the world. I can meet new people. I can choose to be entertained, challenged, immersed in someone else's problems, or enjoying another's good fortune. Reading helps me to relax, to let go, and to push the day's anxiety away for awhile. I usually read before bed until I can't keep my eyes open and then I can sleep... Then my worries are not at the forefront of my thoughts.

Sometime a good movie will help me to escape, too. I can just let myself be pulled into their story and mine fades for a bit. We also watch old sitcoms like Gilligan's Island. Our current favorite is the Mary Tyler Moore Show. We have found many old TV series at our library. We laugh at the clothes, furnishings, and especially the lack of political correctness. They lend us a short light-hearted escape where we can just laugh.

I like to go for a walk, too, but it it is winter here and I don't like the cold. I do exercise, but a walk outside (when it's warmer) is a great escape. I love to see God's handiwork and marvel at the beauty of the world in which I live.

Occasionally a shopping trip can be an escape. I love to go to antique stores and just see the old items that were once loved or used by someone long ago. I don't often buy, but it fills me up to look and imagine and enjoy. Sometimes finding a new piece of clothing can be a fun excursion. I love to capture a great deal.

Being with a friend or a date with my husband  is wonderful, too. I, also, enjoy doing things with my two daughters that are still at home. I love spending time with those special people (and many others)
They often give me the boost I need to feel like I have escaped!

Sometimes I immerse myself in a project to escape. I might sew or bake or write or go volunteer at something until I forget my troubles.

Once in a while I just go take a nap. Sleep can be so healing. I disappear to my room with a book, music, and a quilt and just rest for a short time.

I need these escapes. They help me to get past the stresses that life presents and to keep functioning. They are healthy ways of coping. They help to keep life on a more even keel when the storms are raging. I don't feel guilty when I need to escape and I do it for a while. I always come back, usually refreshed and more ready to tackle the next thing. So from my perspective, escape can be a good thing. My family rarely worries when I say I need to escape. They understand and let me go if I need it.

What about you? What are your escapes? What do you need when life wears you down? Do you know how to escape?

Go!

Last weekend at church was our missions weekend and we had the opportunity to hear some different missionaries tell of their work. They also challenged us to do what God is asking each of us to do. Some of us are called to go; some of us are called to be senders. Yet in Matthew 28, Jesus does tell all of us, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." We were also reminded that all of us have, in our own communities, some people of other nations. We don't always have to go to other nations to find people from other places. I have a friend who is involved with a college ministry that brings foreign students together with families willing to befriend them and invite them into their homes.She is reaching others in her own home because she is willing to open her home. Her home has become a welcoming place to many from other cultures.

One of the missionaries told us their organization had compiled reasons why someone could not go and serve. One of the top reasons not to go is family. Their family did not want them to do such a crazy thing. He told us they had compiled 127 reasons people had given them for not being able to go. Debt, no specific call, job, marriage, not enough money, no passport,... were some of them. For a long time, our main reason was elderly parents that needed us. God has taken them all home to be with Him. I can't use that one any more. What is your reason not to go? If you were asked to fulfill a certain mission, what would be your response? What would mine be?

My husband is listening to the book  Radical, by David Platt, and he is feeling guilty. I told him that wasn't the purpose, but rather it was to motivate him. Will God use these things to 'motivate' us into something new? Or do we need to be bolder, more courageous, just where we are? Do we need to have our eyes opened to needs close to our home?

I don't know for sure if this will lead to drastic changes for us or small changes, but it seems the Holy Spirit is speaking to our hearts to be willing. It scares me and it excites me. I pray my ears will be ready to hear and my eyes open to see and my heart ready to respond. I want to be obedient to His call, to do His will. When I am in His will, I am filled with His joy.

Stay at Home Mom

I have been a stay at home mom for most of my children's growing up years. I really have not worked out of the home since I have had children except for a year long stint as a Pampered Chef consultant and just some brief day to day things. I have done day care in my home two different times, too. But mostly, I have been home,not working for someone else, and for the last 24 years, I have been homeschooling. I only have one now, but have had 5 at one time, too.

What have I sacrificed to be home? I had always hoped to go back to college, but either haven't had the time or money to do so. I haven't had a career. We haven't had the extra income a job would have provided .

But I have loved being home! I feel privileged to have been home all these years. Being at home has offered me so much flexibility to do all the things I want to do. It is as simple as getting up when I want to. I am not a morning person and if I want/need to sleep longer, I can! If I want to exercise 45 minutes instead of 30, I can. I can choose what I want to do during the day. I can write. I can bake bread. I can make from-scratch meals because I have time. If I want to work on crafts or sewing, I can. I get to write. I can take a break and read. I can spend unlimited moments with my child/children. I can read my Bible as long as I want.

Being at home gave me the opportunity to be involved in politics. I was a campaign chair for our state senator and I could give it the time it needed. I  was available to make calls, do correspondence, meet with people, go to events, whatever needed to be done. (And he won!)

I have been a part of the leadership of our local homeschool coop for years. Now my adult son is teaching at it.

I am able to volunteer in areas I wouldn't be able to if I were on a time clock. I was able to take our elderly parents to Dr. appointments and to sit with them for hours on end as they were dying. I can make other people a priority as needed.

I get to babysit for my grandchildren and spend time with other family members, friends, and neighbors. I can talk on the phone, read my email, check Facebook, and Twitter. I listen to Christian radio and watch a movie on lunch break with my daughter(sometimes).

Who says being a stay at home mom is boring? It is full of opportunities! In fact, it is so full that I have to keep a detailed calendar so I know what is next. I also have to prioritize because since I am home others think I have all the time in the world so  I can do what they want. It's a balance as is all of life. I have to be careful not to fill my day with frivolous pursuits and to use my time wisely. But I know I am blessed to be home and I am thankful to my husband for working so hard so I can have this opportunity. He provides the income so I can be at home. I do what I can to be thrifty and to save money, too. I try to do my part.

Being home is a privilege and I am honored to get to live this life. I enjoy it. I embrace this life God has given me. I haven't missed out on anything. I have gained so much being with my children, caring for others, homeschooling and being available. It is the best life! (for me, at least!)

Dissolution

Dissolution

                Dissolution is a word I have rarely thought about and now it is on my mind all the time. What is dissolution? Webster defines dissolution as the act of breaking something down or a breakup of something or the termination of a legal relationship. It can mean a death also.

                Why is it on my mind? Because someone close to me is choosing a dissolution to their marriage. It grieves me deeply that it is happening.  A marriage ending hurts so many. It is not only the husband and wife that are affected.  In this case, there are 3 children who are being torn apart by this. Beyond that, who else is touched by this tragedy? Parents of both spouses are saddened and disappointed and as grandparents to the children, they hurt for them, too. Siblings to the couple, cousins, and others are upset as they see their relationships changing with all that are involved. It’s like a rock being thrown into a lake and seeing the ripples radiating outward. This decision has an emotional impact on all the family.

CitizenLink has an article on marriage benefits that states:

 “Marriage is good for people—for women, for men and for children. Research for the last 30 years continues to find ways in which lifelong marriage positively affects our physical and emotional health, and even our finances.

It would be difficult for a mother and father to give a greater gift to their children than their lifelong marriage. Children living with their married parents are unlikely to live even one year of life in poverty compared to children in unmarried homes. They are also more likely to thrive physically, emotionally, scholastically and socially into adulthood if their parents stay married.

It’s not just good for kids. The physical health and emotional well-being of married men and women is better than that of their unmarried peers. Additionally, married men make more money than single men with similar education and opportunities.

A thriving society and culture depend on stable marriages. As marriage declines in a culture, the state must spend more money to care for children who lose the financial stability of a married home when their parents divorce or were never married. Creativity and growth are lost when marriages fail, as the next generation struggles for psychological, social, educational and financial health and stability.

Strong marriages are at the heart of thriving family and community.” (http://www.citizenlink.com/analysis/marriage/marriage-benefits/)

            There are benefits to marriage, but few to divorce. The Bible only gives infidelity as a reason to divorce, but abuse would also be a reason to separate. Yet many in our culture divorce for frivolous reasons. In this case, one of the partners wants freedom, a chance to explore other avenues of self gratification. She thinks she should do what will make her happy. But at what cost to everyone around her?

                As a parent, I feel if we have brought children into the world, they are a priority we cannot neglect. They need to be cared for, loved, and protected. This situation will not allow for that easily. The children will live closer to poverty, and they will not know the stability of a home with two parents present. I see the changes being forced on them as very selfish and uncaring. The children will be the victims and will always have to deal with this in their lives. They will struggle to understand and to know where they fit in. All of these struggles will come to them by no choice of their own. How unfair!

                All of the rest of the family will now have to accommodate this broken relationship in holiday celebrations, family get-togethers and family photos. Nothing will be normal anymore. The family ‘pride’ in being a large family is changed because it will be too hard to explain.

              God hates divorce and so do I. It is a breaking of vows and trust. It hurts and destroys. It changes too many things for too many people. It is the termination of a legal relationship, but it is also a death of a marriage. It is a dissolution of love.

 

Enjoy Life

On a recent radio broadcast that I was listening to, the speaker said that one regret people would have at the end of their lives is that they didn't enjoy life more. They were busy. They worked hard. They had things they wanted. But they just didn't enjoy life.

That is one regret I do NOT want to have. I want to look back at life and think, "Wow! It was a good life!"  That doesn't mean it was all easy because it isn't. That doesn't mean there were no problems because there are. It doesn't ,mean things have all gone my way because they don't and aren't. Life is far from perfect, but I can still choose to see the good.

In spite of today's problems or tomorrow's worries, I will enjoy the life God has given me. Though I don't like winter, the fresh snow this morning was beautiful. I got my exercise time in. My chiropractor helped me yesterday.  My two youngest daughters laughed today over a simple card trick they were perfecting. We had lunch together. I am reading a good book. My husband wants to go out on a date with me tonight.We finished school early. Friends enjoyed our 'Winter Greetings' Letter.(I didn't get Christmas cards out.) I have time to write today. All are just my simple joys, but recognizing them helps me to enjoy today and to see it as a good day. Though life's problems are not any less and the situation that is bothering me most has not changed, I am not letting it overshadow today's delights.

There are so many things yet to look forward to, too. Spring is coming! It will get warmer and days will get longer. I will enjoy walking outside again. We are planning a late Spring -early Summer vacation. I am actually thinking of having a garden this year...Maybe? I love campfires, summer evenings, camping out, motorcycle rides, green grass, and picnics. I am looking forward to getting together with some friends. We get to meet another new grandchild. I want to write more, and of course, read more! I am going to try some new recipes. I'm praying God will show me what He wants me to do next. Anticipation is good. Spontaneity is fun.

So enjoy life. Smile more. People will wonder what you are up to or maybe they will recognize you, too, have joy in your heart!