Dissolution
Dissolution is a word I have rarely
thought about and now it is on my mind all the time. What is dissolution?
Webster defines dissolution as the act of breaking something down or a breakup of something or
the termination of a legal relationship. It can mean a death also.
Why is it on my mind? Because
someone close to me is choosing a dissolution to their marriage. It grieves me
deeply that it is happening. A marriage
ending hurts so many. It is not only the husband and wife that are affected. In this case, there are 3 children who are being
torn apart by this. Beyond that, who else is touched by this tragedy? Parents
of both spouses are saddened and disappointed and as grandparents to the
children, they hurt for them, too. Siblings to the couple, cousins, and others
are upset as they see their relationships changing with all that are involved.
It’s like a rock being thrown into a lake and seeing the ripples radiating outward.
This decision has an emotional impact on all the family.
CitizenLink
has an article on marriage benefits that states:
“Marriage is good for
people—for women, for men and for children. Research for the last 30 years
continues to find ways in which lifelong marriage positively affects our
physical and emotional health, and even our finances.
It would be difficult for a mother and father to give a greater
gift to their children than their lifelong marriage. Children living with their
married parents are unlikely to live even one year of life in poverty compared
to children in unmarried homes. They are also more likely to thrive physically,
emotionally, scholastically and socially into adulthood if their parents stay
married.
It’s not just good for kids. The physical health and emotional
well-being of married men and women is better than that of their unmarried
peers. Additionally, married men make more money than single men with similar
education and opportunities.
A thriving society and culture depend on stable marriages. As
marriage declines in a culture, the state must spend more money to care for
children who lose the financial stability of a married home when their parents
divorce or were never married. Creativity and growth are lost when marriages
fail, as the next generation struggles for psychological, social, educational
and financial health and stability.
Strong marriages are at the heart of thriving family and
community.” (http://www.citizenlink.com/analysis/marriage/marriage-benefits/)
There are benefits to marriage, but few to divorce. The Bible
only gives infidelity as a reason to divorce, but abuse would also be a reason
to separate. Yet many in our culture divorce for frivolous reasons. In this
case, one of the partners wants freedom, a chance to explore other avenues of
self gratification. She thinks she should do what will make her happy. But at
what cost to everyone around her?
As
a parent, I feel if we have brought children into the world, they are a
priority we cannot neglect. They need to be cared for, loved, and protected. This
situation will not allow for that easily. The children will live closer to
poverty, and they will not know the stability of a home with two parents
present. I see the changes being forced on them as very selfish and uncaring. The
children will be the victims and will always have to deal with this in their
lives. They will struggle to understand and to know where they fit in. All of
these struggles will come to them by no choice of their own. How unfair!
All
of the rest of the family will now have to accommodate this broken relationship
in holiday celebrations, family get-togethers and family photos. Nothing will
be normal anymore. The family ‘pride’ in being a large family is changed
because it will be too hard to explain.
God hates divorce and so do I. It is
a breaking of vows and trust. It hurts and destroys. It changes too many things
for too many people. It is the termination of a legal relationship, but it is
also a death of a marriage. It is a dissolution of love.
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