Parenting Adult Children

Parenting Adult Children

                Once you become a parent, you are always a parent. That doesn’t change. You, however, are forever changed when you become a parent. You become consumed with a love for that child that is different than anything you have ever felt before. You become more selfless. You want the best for your child. I know there are exceptions to this, but God created us to love our offspring and to want to bring them up to be productive, successful adults. Once we become responsible for another human being, you never completely let that go. Your love binds you together forever.

                Thus, the dilemma. Children grow up and become adults. And parents go on being parents.  The appropriate letting go and still loving and being there for them can be a conflict. I know I do not always do it well. I am not sure I have ever done it well.

                Because they are your children, you want to protect them and help them to not go through the bad things life has set before them. Yet they need to experience life and all its consequences. It hurts to watch your child hurt. But often hurts are what teach the greatest lessons.

                What is the balance? I have not learned it yet. I may never. I want to love my children well. I want to be involved in their lives. I want to help them, but not enable bad decisions. I want to encourage and lift them up, but not unnecessarily praise everything. I want to hold them accountable, but not criticize them or break their spirit. I want to offer them hope, but not false hope with no foundation. I want them to see my faith is real, but I am still a sinner. I am a sinner, but I am forgiven. I am redeemed in spite of all my flaws. What good I have to offer comes only from God. I want them to know God and His goodness and love towards them. I want them to have a relationship with Jesus more than I want a relationship with them.  

                So I can offer my love, my prayers, my life, to my children. But they may not want any of it. I know that rejection. Yet still I will offer it. I love them, these adult children of mine. I will always be their mom. Nothing changes that.