Do Grandparents Have Favorites?

Do Grandparents Have Favorites?

Of course, grandparents have favorites. Let’s get real. We all like some people or some things more than others. Grandparents are human. There is a connection with some grandchildren more than others. Lots of things can affect this. You may have access to some children more than others. A closer proximity may bring closer bonds. You may share something specific with some of your grandchildren, like a love for books or a hobby or activity. Those things may make you grow closer. Sometimes a certain personality of a child draws you closer or may push you apart. A certain child may have a special love for you and that will make you have a more intimate connection.

Some children may not seem to like you as well as other people so your relationship will not be as close. Some children have mannerisms or behaviors that may be distasteful to you, and it changes the relationship or minimizes it a bit. It doesn’t mean you don’t love the child. We love all our grandchildren. It just means a different relationship with them.

My grandparents had over 30 grandchildren. They didn’t know all of us well. We were all different ages from different places and spent varying amounts of time with them at different stages of their lives. My parents had 10 grandchildren of different ages, too. They were much more elderly and facing health challenges when my youngest was born. They were different grandparents to her than to their oldest grandchildren.

It’s not wrong to feel a special connection to some of them. It is a gift. Anytime you can connect well with a young person is a blessing. Both they and you need it. It is a good thing.

But if in having favorites, you play favorites, you may hurt someone. My dad loved all his grandchildren, but he had a special place in his heart for his oldest grandsons. He sometimes bought them more than his other grandchildren. That was obvious favoritism and my children were sometimes bothered by it. Or I was. I try not to show favoritism. I want them ALL to believe they are my favorites. They are all loved by me and I want them to know they are all special to me.

My oldest granddaughter always wants me to proclaim her my favorite. She tries every time I am with her.  I tell her she is my favorite oldest granddaughter. And I mean it!

Each of my grandchildren are unique with special gifts, talents and personalities. I enjoy them immensely. I try to do things for them and buy gifts uniquely for them. I want them to know I accept them and want them as part of my life.

If I have favorites, I will never tell. Some might know or think they know. Hopefully all of them at some point will think it is them!